I will be going through many changes in the next few weeks. And to be honest, I'm ready for the changes.
I am not the same person I was a year ago. I used to be scared of change. When I graduated high school, I started crying due to my fear of going to college. At my college graduation, I was bawling because I was scared of becoming an adult.
Change is everywhere (cliche, I know), but we shouldn't be afraid of it. Whether it's starting a new job or moving into a new apartment, change can be beautiful. Even if the change is bad, these are the type of life lessons that will make us into stronger people.
When I started my first post-grad job, I was horrified of messing up and ruining my future. That fear is gone now. The fear has turned into excitement as I start to see where my career takes me. I am not perfect, and I will make plenty of mistakes, but I know that I will eventually end up where I belong.
My original game plan was to be a content producer up to the age of 50, retire and teach journalism to high school students. Somewhere in between that game plan, I would get a masters degree. Sure, I had personal goals such as getting married, having kids and owning a house, but my dreams were focused more on my professional life.
After a year in post-graduate life, I realize that my game plan might have drastic changes that I didn't think about back then. What if I realized I hated my profession? Not saying that I hate my degree, but I wish I had some backup plan that would give me more flexibility and the ability to play around with careers.
One year ago, I would have been scared to acknowledge the fact that I have self-doubts in my career. Today, I am thinking about how I can use my journalism degree to venture into different career paths. What are my passions? What will make me happy?
Because being scared never leads to happiness.
The same applies to my personal life. I was always a tad skeptical about love, but I knew why. I had never experienced it. With my lack of experience in love and the fact that my parents are divorced, being in love was something I feared. I didn't want to be single forever, but I didn't want to get heartbroken either.
So I dated guys who I probably shouldn't have. Don't get me wrong; the guys were nice, but they weren't for me. They were my life lessons. They made me realize what I wanted in a significant other.
Then I met Josiah.
He wasn't like the other guys I had dated. He was awkward, incredibly smart (he's getting his Ph.D. from UT with no student loans) and he was from Oklahoma. Josiah wasn't an OU grad, but OSU is still pretty bad.
I went on a date with him on a whim. I thought his eyes were beautiful, and he loved margaritas as much as me. Slowly but surely, I started to see how much he loved video games, photography and realized that he knew more random facts than a contestant on "Jeopardy."
Somewhere between our hikes, love of BBQ and inside jokes, I fell in love. And that was the most drastic change I could have to my personal life.
We are about two months shy of our first year anniversary, and I can honestly say I'm not a great girlfriend. I can also say that I do not fear the changes that occur in our relationship. From changing school schedules to meeting each other's families, I am not scared.
I was scared of the changes that would come with a relationship, but I soon realized that these fears were stupid. I don't know how long Josiah will be in my life, but these small changes will make us stronger.
In fact, all these life changes will make me stronger -- the person I was meant to be.